Stupid People Piss Me Off

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   Posted Dec 23, 2007 - Views: 1602

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  My roommate has got to be one of the most foul human beings ever to walk the earth. He showers almost daily, thank God, but it never completely rids him of that disgusting fat person smell. The bathroom actually smells even worse when he's done showering than it does when he is done taking a dump.

He tries to skip out on the rent on a regular basis, leaving me with the responsibility of explaining to our landlord why the rent is late. Again.

His room is a nasty mess, with dirty laundry and dirty dishes all over the floor, no sheets on his bed, and God knows what growing in his closet. Instead of cleaning it, he moved his computer into the dining room and sleeps on the living room couch every night. He has now taken over three rooms in the apartment because he is too lazy/disgusting to clean one. The smell seeps into the hallway and gags me when I walk by.

He leaves giant balls of his greasy hair in the bathtub, pisses on the floor instead of the toilet, leaves dirty dishes in the sink for me to wash, dirty laundry on the floor in front of the washer so that I trip over it, and leaves his laundry in both the washer and the dryer for days, so that I have to finish his before I can do mine. He stinks, and so does his laundry. I hate touching it.

He stays up until 4 a.m. playing his guitar while I am trying to sleep so I can get up and go to work at 7 a.m. He invites his cokehead friends over until 3 am on weeknights. He gets belligerently drunk and says inane things, then passes out in public places. I pity him.

His car broke down months ago, and instead of buying a new one he spends all his money on pot and booze, then asks me for a ride. Then he makes me late for work because he needs to smoke an ounce of pot before getting ready.

He has cleaned the bathroom twice in one year, never vacuums, leaves pot seeds and stems all over the apartment, spills shit on the counters and lets it dry into a crusty mess that I have to scrape off with a butter knife, sells drugs out of the apartment, stole my comb, leaves floaters in the toilet, half-full beer bottles everywhere, and constantly complains that he can't get laid, as if it's a mystery why a girl wouldn't want to date him.

If I bring up any of this with him he gets defensive and walks away.

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